could

i could, but i never did.

someone else did, though. and i must say, i really loved it.

i hope you don’t mind me reposting your poem (:

–

i could write a poem at 3 plus plus am.
siying goh

i could write a poem at three plus plus am,

(with my laptop searing my lap –  an irony for an invention)

say, for example, about something I know,

because the director said, “only because you know, then does it hold truth.”

like for now, I know

all thieves’ song — haunting and beautiful but

is stealing my attention away,

turn and turn again,

pilfering my passport to the inspiration of

a three plus plus am poem. (switch it off)

let’s start all over again.

a little gathering on saturday with no less than 20 people perhaps?

(i’m not good at numbers, remember)

and two hours, i felt quite

okay, that’s the word.

a word that could be terrifying for others

i haven’t quite forgotten I quite like to yodel

especially so after a night of

walking on hooves (feet curved and contorted)

and sex-selling or the over-the-top diplomatic smiles

you see all too often from the length and breadth of

everything you label media –

and now skypeme pops up and i sort of, sort of

rolled my eyes. another stupid boy.

stupid boy must be the best  conjuctive words I’ve heard

for quite a while. so let’s have a go again.

OH STUPID BOY.

and no, that’s not how my three plus plus am poem is going to end.

(but because it’s three plus plus am, going onto four am)

really falling in love with You

You’re all i want; You’re all i need; You’re everything, everything.

–

fel, thanks for the reminder.
i’ll remember where i stand, and stand upon my Rock.

on a lighter note, timbre’s roast duck pizza is the BEST.
their four cheese pizza comes a close second though.
BUT! “it’s not where you are or what you’re doing, but who you’re with that matters the most.” (lim 2008: 2)
company was awesome, of course :D

and something random:
jon wanted to buy a terrapin to keep him company over the winter holidays before we all left for singapore/malaysia, only to find that terrapins are illegal in victoria (anyone knows why?).

but last night, i dreamt that terrapins were suddenly legalised in the state of victoria! i somehow ran to victoria market to buy a terrapin and terrapin food, and then proceeded to gloat by waving the plastic cage in front of jon’s face immediately after. and of course jon gave me his classic -.-” face. HAHAHA. it was a funny dream. (:

stayover tmr night! can’t wait!

much love <3
xo

running back through the fire, when there’s nothing left to say

i’ve tried hard enough.
we‘ve tried hard enough.
and i don’t want to believe that my best wasn’t enough.

goodbye to you, then.

–

expectation can be a double-edged sword.

i really thank God that our God loves us as we are (:

for those who know what happened, thank you for keeping me in your prayers. i’ll be needing it.

and Lord, i know you will come through for me.

another reason to love winnie the pooh

despite the fact that most of my friends think i should have outgrown winnie the pooh alr (i can imagine jasmine nodding in agreement haha), here’s another quote which just renders the bear with a red tshirt so adorable:

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you.”

- Winnie the Pooh

oh, and i ordered my results half an hour ago. please pray for me. (:

much love!

of honesty, trustworthiness, moral courage & loyalty

as i was doing a facebook note on my high school days, i really liked this answer i gave:

Who/what will you remember from your high school?
that i was from a chinese school for 10 years. i’m cheena and proud of it. that your CCA might feel like your entire life for four years, but noone really cares about it after you leave. that sometimes, being liked is not the point, but to leave a legacy. that really, love never fails. that it is extremely important to stay grounded. that once a dunmanian, always a dunmanian.

just something random (: hee.

–

it surprised me today that i didn’t care.

and i also realised that we might not be able to escape completely, but that’s also why Jesus came to die on the cross.

this trip back to singapore brings a whole new meaning to the verse “His mercies are new every morning” <3

–

on a completely unrelated note, this year’s national day song was playing on television while i was at my tailor’s house. they tried giving it a ‘rock’ feel (i think?) but really, it’s a ballad and it can’t be anything else. jasmine and i could totally imagine it as a secondary school choral piece though, haha.

going to see cephia tmr :D

much love!

it’s like chasing the very last train when we both know it’s too late

syf choral presentation last night with dear juitlian (:

was expecting to see some victorians in the audience, and true enough shixuan, enoch, and – in the later part of the concert – marie were sitting two rows behind us.

i’m not going to do a review in case i incur the wrath of every performing school; however i will say that some schools might have regarded this concert as less important to their own showcase and definitely less important than syf. cj’s sops produced a very focused sound in the first half; their concentration kind of waned in the second half. that said, pokpok alimpako was very well done. and nanyang girls’ was the most outstanding choir of the night.

on a slightly biased note, may’s solo was awesome. i’m not saying that because she’s my junior. (:

–

can we never escape completely?

–

and so we’ve come full circle, in a way i’ve never expected.

in some ways, it’s interesting to see how life unfolds as the years go by. in other ways, it’s rather scary to find out that the world really is smaller than we think it is.

in any case though, luckily God is in control. hee.

okay time to sleep! need to go grocery shopping early tmr, then head to church. and then it’s 4i bbq!

much love! <3

life lessons

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio [via: Amazing Posts]

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch!
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special..
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

–

thought i’d repost this (:

much love! <3

you can’t feel anything that your heart don’t want to feel

broken strings
; james morrison ft. nelly furtado

let me hold you for the last time
it’s the last chance to feel again
but you broke me, now i can’t feel anything

when i love you and so untrue
i can’t even convince myself
when i’m speaking it’s the voice of someone else

oh, it tears me up
i tried to hold on but it hurts too much
i tried to forgive but it’s not enough
to make it all okay

you can’t play our broken strings
you can’t feel anything
that your heart don’t want to feel
i can’t tell you something that ain’t real

oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
how can i give anymore
when i love you a little less than before?

oh, what are we doing?
we are turning into dust
playing house in the ruins of us

running back through the fire
when there’s nothing left to say
it’s like chasing the very last train
when it’s too late, too late

you can’t play our broken strings
you can’t feel anything
that your heart don’t want to feel
i can’t tell you something that ain’t real

oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
how can i give anymore
when i love you a little less than before?

but we’re running through the fire
when there’s nothing left to say
it’s like chasing the very last train
when it’s too late, too late

you can’t play our broken strings
you can’t feel anything
that your heart don’t want to feel
i can’t tell you something that ain’t real

oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
how can i give anymore
when i love you a little less than before?
oh, you know that i love you a little less than before

let me hold you for the last time
it’s the last chance to feel again 

–

it’s funny because my singapore trip so far has been really interesting (: deep conversations with mummy, yet with a little conflict in between. my schedule’s alr half-full, so book me quick if you want to meet!

whenever i meet someone, i’ll go:

1. i’m perfectly healthy
2. i do not have any flu-like symptoms
3. don’t worry!

which is hilarious to me but not so hilarious to the person listening to it, haha.

in all honesty though, i think singapore is overreacting to the entire h1n1 situation. dr lee weiling was right, it’ll eventually become a normal flu. yes, perhaps it’s relatively new and its spread is quite fast, but otherwise it’s just like getting the normal flu. i doubt the government would want to quarantine those down with the normal influenza.

was quite surprised when they were taking everyone’s temperature outside fcbc (i went alone because someone didn’t wake up). but it’s all in the name of social responsibility i guess.

visiting fcbc turned out to be a surprise because i really enjoyed the service! pastor lawrence khong is really quite amusing at times, and he’s honest too. ministry time was awesome! could really feel God’s presence and He’s really moving in a big way in singapore.

the last time i was at max pavilion, planetshakers was playing at ultraviolet (: and i never imagined that i would be part of such a huge service, and it was at first really unnerving to be alone in a hall with 10,000 people. the usher was really nice though and found me a seat in front of a screen. it’s really amazing to see not one, but two huge churches in singapore at expo on a sunday.

and after church, i had my teochew steamed fish i’ve been talking about since the beginning of time. plus quality time with dad too. (:

back to the whole swine flu thing though… on the flip side, the brumby government is underreacting to the entire situation in my opinion. but oh well.

finally going to get a haircut tmr! my hair is like a mop, can’t wait to get it sorted out. and we’re also going for a yummy lunch and i’m meeting louis for jap food for dinner. we always have jap food whenever i’m back. (:

the heat is a little unbearable in jeans, but otherwise pretty tolerable. it isn’t sweltering… yet.

gonna bring the dslr out tmr too. not sure what to name it… any suggestions? ;)

wednesday’s gonna be my “vivo chill day”. sitting at starbucks overlooking sentosa with a book in one hand and iced caramel macchiato in the other, and walking around my favourite shopping centre. yay!

haha my mum just said (in hakka, no less), “wah this trip you’re back, you’re more naggy than i am! i thought i was naggy because i’m the mother…” role reversal much? hahahah.

broken strings by james morrison and nelly furtado has been stuck in my head since last thursday night. i’m super tempted to find guitar chords to learn it or something. muahaha.

okay, i’ll update again soon!

much love (:

xoxo

to be only Yours i pray

only hope
; mandy moore/switchfoot

there’s a song that’s inside of my soul.
it’s the one that i’ve tried to write over and over again
i’m awake in the infinite cold.
but You sing to me over and over and over again.

so, i lay my head back down.
&i lift my hands and pray
to be only Yours, i pray, to be only Yours
i know now You’re my only hope.

sing to me the song of the stars.
of Your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
when it feels like my dreams are so far
sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again.

so, i lay my head back down.
&i lift my hands and pray
to be only Yours, i pray, to be only Yours
i know now You’re my only hope.

i give You my destiny.
i’m giving You all of me.
i want Your symphony, singing in all that I am
at the top of my lungs, i’m giving it back.

so, i lay my head back down.
&i lift my hands and pray
to be only Yours, i pray, to be only Yours

i know now You’re my only hope.

–

and as i step into REB this afternoon at 2pm, i know You’re my only hope.

i will not doubt myself; and more importantly, i will not doubt what You can do.

of burma and authoritarianism

everyone’s at westfield doncaster now, except fel and jon who are taking their last papers. oh, and trish, kern and i who are at frank tate. i haven’t been to frank tate since last tuesday (when i first fell ill) and it is significantly much quieter.

i just want to go home :(

and sleep till His kingdom comes, eat all the good food, shop, spend time with mummy and friends, go for syf choral presentation, pierce my ears…

but on a happier note, my forever21 stuff arrived! our towriteloveonherarms stuff have just been shipped too. andandand most importantly, combined urbanlife tmr night (: it’s going to be so good, i can feel it.

okay, off to study my final chapter of the semester!

see all of you in sunny singapore in 2 days!

–

[update]
so here goes, a life beyond reproach.
i can only do this with You.
backspacing was a start, take me places only You will go (:

mummy’s alr planning my homecoming supper: heng carrot cake from newton, then drinks (non-alcoholic of course, chamomile tea for mum and hot chocolate for me) at shang lounge. might skip the latter though, since i have to wake up at 8am for church on the other side of the island.(:

and it’s back to nationalism/globalisation and its threats to contemporary states.

much love!